God, I wish I was making this up.
For those who don’t know, Postal is based loosely around a postal worker who goes bonkers and starts killing people (I remember this was an ongoing occurrence – workers of the US Post Office would go on killing sprees, which actually spawned this strange use of the phrase “Going Postal” meaning go into a berserker killing rage. Strange days, indeed.) The Postal game was simply a top-down shooter strategy game you can check it out and even download the demo from gamespot. I believe this was the first game to have a flamethrower as a weapon. The goal of the game was just to kill people, and it got all kinds of bad press, and all kinds of kids like me rushed to get it.
Imagine the world’s surprise when a second version of the game was released, even more over the top than the first. One of the weapons at your disposal was your, um…, your well, your penis. That’s right, you could piss on anything in the game, including yourself if you pissed straight up in the air, (which was actually how you put yourself out if you caught on fire) And the sound effects were disturbingly good.
No I’m not making this up.
The Postal video game series was intended to push the limits of what is acceptable in gaming, just like Uwe Boll’s movies push the limits of what is acceptable for entertainment, so the two should be a perfect match.
But wait, it gets better:
Uwe Boll is sick of the criticism he receives on his dreadful films, and has challenged his detractors to a boxing match. Those who wrote anything negative about Boll before 2006 can send a copy to [email protected] and some will be selected to go toe-to-toe with Boll in the boxing ring. The boxing matches between Boll and ‘those who don’t understand his work’ will be recorded and parts used in the upcoming Postal movie.
Among the challenged is yet another movie maker I’ve never liked: Quentin Tarantino.
Remember when the two geekiest kids in your school fought each other to see who was at the very bottom of the pecking order? Who will win? Who cares! I’d pay to see Uwe Boll and Quentin Tarantino beat the crap out of each other before I’d pay to see one of their films.