Last night I saw Ulli Lommel’s Zodiac
Its fun to do reviews of movies this bad, because it gives you a lot of material to work with. Where to start…where to start…
The voiceovers are Painful. They sound like a high-school student on Thorazine reading from a script they are handed one word at a time.
The acting is worse.
The concept is poorly based on the real-life Zodiac killer. Any fool with a library card or internet connection could have done better research.
The editing is bad. If you take your movie project shot on DV, and splice in stock footage and clips from a film camera, it DOES NOT MAKE IT BETTER. Instead, it makes the rest of your movie look worse. It’s like you doing a drunken finger painting of a street scene, and then having Rembrandt paint the flowers on it, or you hack together a Key Lime and Spinach Desert Medley, and then have Wolfgang Puck design a lovely chocolate-carmel creme sauce for it. Then, we can’t even say the movie is Consistantly bad, which means that even at sucking, you suck.
The writing and directing are so bad that they fight to see which of them can wreck the movie hardest. Completely contrived conversations and lines that come out of nowhere. (I dont mean out of Somewhere, I mean Out Of Nowhere.) For instance, a book author meets a fan of his at a coffee shop, and after some chit-chat and a sterile, stoic conversation of about three lines, he says, “Would you like to come over? And watch some Vid-e-ohs?”
The answer? “Uh, Sure.”
Really. “Uh, Sure.” Doesn’t make sense to me, but whatever.
If Everyone in your movie gets a full-on-lingering-close-up-shot, then you aren’t making a movie, you’re making a High-School-Video-Yearbook.
When your killing scenes are boring, you got a problem. At least watch other movies to see how it is done before you try to make your own.
The DSM-IV is not an illness. Anyone who took basic Psychology knows that DSM-IV is a book. To say that you are treating your DSM-IV disorder with pills is funny, and it was the only funny thing about Zodiac Killer movie. Oh wait, there was the scene with the guys around the table wearing black hoods and applauding, that was funny too. I mean, who applauds at a table of six people?
There is a review on IMDB which beat me to the punch:
…the only good thing about this movie is that the opening/credits song by Pink is pretty good.