11 June 2007 – Leaving Minneapolis

June 11, 2007 By Conrad Zero

Flight out of MSP to Newark. Nearly wore out my brand-new passport by showing it to around 300 people.

15:00 – Arrived in Newark. Connecting flight does not leave until 17:55PM. Began wandering airport malls, bookstore, Sharper Image, even wandered through the Swatch store. Had to kill some time.

15:12 – Boredom ensues

15:13 – Still bored.

16:00 – Asked what time it was because I did not have a watch. I used to use my cell phone to keep track of time, but I’m off the grid. Guess I’ll have to buy a watch in Germany.

16:16 – Still bored.

Vacation and Update on the Demonslayer’s Handbook

June 8, 2007 By Conrad Zero

If you’ve noticed that the blog posts here at conradzero.com were few and far between…

…then you should cut back on your blog reading.

But, for the faithful two or three of you who come here for your fix, I wanted to warn you that the postings are about to become fewer and farther between.

I’m taking a well-earned break from Things-That-Plug-Into-The-Wall, and I should be back in a few weeks, unless I happen across a Cyber Cafe / Hash Bar in Amsterdam, in which case I will update, but it probably wont be legible or intelligible, OR if Turkish Police happen across ME, it might be a while before my next post.

Oh yes, by the way, The First Rough Draft of The Demonslayers Handbook…

…is finished.

Praise for Neil Gaiman

May 4, 2007 By Conrad Zero

I love Neil Gaiman.

But in a *manly* sort of way…you know, like the movie 300. Like, “Dude! You’re an author, and I’m almost an author… I mean, we both write right? Let’s go Man Up and run half-nekked across the moors with swords drawn, and cut down enemy forces outnumbering us one-hundred-and-fifty to one! See those three-hundred Spartans over there with their tiny little abs, HA! Dare they pit their ten or twelve tiny chicklet abs against my giant one? Why settle for a 6-pack when you can have a pony keg!”

Then Neil and I could open a can of Whoop-Ass, clean up, do lunch, and talk about writing. We’d be sure to sit on opposite sides of the table though. Manly, like I said.

Anyway, I’m reading Neil Gaiman’s ‘Fragile Things’ right now. It’s quite good. I’m on page 3. I’ll let you know when I have enough info to augment my opinion.

But I did read Good Omens long ago. Great book. Very funny. If you enjoy a ‘dry as a funeral drum’ sense of humor not too dissimilar from Douglas Adams, then you will like it. I have somehow managed to avoid reading the Sandman series; I keep meaning to stop over at Dreamhaven Books and pick up a copy of Ultimate Sandman when Neil is visiting there and tell him how much I love the first three pages of his new book, but our schedules don’t seem to mesh.

How can you Not like Neil Gaiman? He’s a famous author who doesn’t act famous. He answers his fan mail. And he has a cool accent.

He links to cool things like this.

And this.

Meanwhile, I just rip him off, and post the cool links here.

Neil also has enough fan mail to run his entire blog just off simply responding to them. I do get some questions from fans, but they don’t seem very blog-worthy. Here is an example:

Dear Zero,

I just read the synopsis of your upcoming book, “The Demonslayer’s Handbook“. What the hell is wrong with you?

Signed,
Disturbed

See what I mean? Anyone who reads my blog should know that I don’t like Disturbed. Their cover of Genesis’s’ “Land of Confusion” was pretty good though.

But Neil Gaiman gets the Ubercool Seal of Approval in my book.

Open Letter To Music Industry Execs

April 24, 2007 By Conrad Zero

Sounds like it’s only a matter of time before you get rid of DRM and the idiot who signed off on it. You don’t have a choice really, you simply are not going to stop file sharing.

Remember when CDs came out and people could make high-quality copies of new releases from CD to cassette tape ? Remember how you cried yourself to sleep thinking of all those lost dollars? What did you NOT learn from that experience?

Remember Buisness 101 Law of Supply and Demand? Until the price of songs comes down to meet the demand, people will simply P2P their music, or pass on it. Its a mixed blessing: the internet has INCREASED THE ACCESSABILITY of music, and DECREASED THE VALUE. Accept it, and bring the prices down enough that your customers will gladly pay to download the song from you, rather than to try and figure out how BitTorrent works. Hell, if songs were a quarter apiece, I’d pay you to download it instead of walking out to the car to get the CD!

Instead of crying about how the price of music has gone down, rejoice that your distribution costs have reduced exponentially! Rejoice that you can reach markets you never dreamed of, in countries where CDs have to be sent in by carrier pigeon or camel-ed across the desert!

Where are the New Bestsellers?

Now that that’s all cleared up, where is the next “Hotel California”? Where is the next “Jagged Little Pill”? Where is the next “Nevermind”? The crap you put out now is the ‘Reality TV Programming’ of music. You are quick to push shitbands like The Fray, but have you even heard of Vampire Hands? Jagged Spiral? Nothing Gained? Betty X?

Where is the imagination? Where is the experimentation? Is Trent Reznor the only Visionary you could find? You need to MAKE new genres, not try to copy ones which were designed to poke fun at you. Let the kids have their “Indie”, and make something they haven’t even dreamed of.

Stop wasting your resources fighting a losing battle AGAINST YOUR OWN CUSTOMERS, and spend them on making it even easier to get music to your customers!

Get in bed with companies no one else could imagine. Fire your marketing staff, and hire some 16-year olds to run the think tank. Give away free mp3 downloads with Happy Meals or Apple Jacks or Little Debbies.

Figure out why people can’t buy a song the second they hear it, anywhere, anytime. If there was a “MINE!” button on your radio, and it cost a quarter to push it, and whammo-o! people could own a copy of the song they were listening to… If there was a way to access the song purchase via cell phone… If there was a simple way for people to provide access to your downloads through links on their own website or e-mail signatures…

If you diverted your funding away from lawsuits against your customers and into ideas like these… can your tiny minds grasp how much money you would make?

Also, get people to think about music when they are NOT near their computer, because if you read http://lefsetz.com/ he will tell you that radio simply isn’t doing it.

No charge for this advice.

PS: Abolish Dashboard Confessional. In fact, abolish the entire Emo genre. It is the open chancre sore on the the face of music history.

Watching Yourself Die: First vs Third Person POV in Video Games

April 22, 2007 By Conrad Zero

While reading an old issue of Escapist Magazine that asked whether video games should be considered ‘art’ or not, my Inner Philosopher made an interesting observation. Is it possible that people who play First-Person Shooter video games like Doom, Quake, etc, might have a different approach to death and violence than those who prefer Second-Person Shooters like Tomb Raider, Diablo, Command and Conquer, etc?

Death in First Person

A major difference between Second Person and First Person viewpoints in video games is that those playing from second-person will see their character(s) die, but those in first-person will experience death pseudo-firsthand. Likewise, those watching from top-down will watch their characters performing horrific deeds, but those looking down the barrel of the gun will perform the deeds themselves. It’s a subtle, but significant difference, like programming a robot to perform a task instead of doing it yourself. There is an added level of abstraction to the second person view, while the first person view is more immediate.

Personally, I’m not as into games that have a top-down or over-the-shoulder view, because that perspective literally takes me “out” of the game. Being in first-person makes me feel more connected, it removes a level of “suspension of disbelief” and makes the game more entertaining for me. I think a Holodeck / Virtual Reality system would be awesome. I definitely ride without the Top Down.

Anyway, it makes me wonder if there are specific personality types or life experiences that would make people tend toward the first-person view or second-person in games. Is there something that makes people want to ‘separate’ themselves from the actions, experiences and deaths of their virtual counterparts?

Perhaps the University of Minnesota Psychology Department should be looking into this?

A Smashing Success for Voltage: Fashion Amplified 2007

April 12, 2007 By Conrad Zero

It was back in 2005 that I bequeathed Anna Lee with the title “Fashion Maven.” This year, she pulled out the stops again, for another top-notch production of Voltage: Fashion Amplified 2007, and showed the rest of the world what flyover land had to offer in terms of fashion and music.

This year’s show was all the sweeter due to its absence last year, and now popular enough to pull the lead story in all the local press, and pack First Ave to the hilt. I mean, I’ve Never seen it that full up before.

One goal of Voltage is to not just ‘present’ bands and designers, but to connect them to the audience. To that end, a well-designed “Look Book” was distributed at the show. People could pull the book out later and visually identify the designers and their designs. There were also short video interviews with the designers and bands, which aired between each segment of the show, and this helped the audience get a glimpse of their personalities. The “look book” and the videos really helped to connect the audience to the artists.

Voltage also helps the artist community in other ways. Proceeds from Voltage go to the Springboad for the Arts which helps artists gain access to healthcare, and Voltage has also birthed MNFashion.org which seeks to help designers access “professional development and resources so designers can establish a sustainable livelihood”

There are a lot of factors that make the Voltage show pretty amazing, not the least of which is that Anna Lee is behind it. While she is quick to point out that it takes many people to make the show happen, it takes someone with the moxie that Anna has to pull it off.

Another amazing fact is that the show was Packed. People want to see this, and hopefully, the success (and continued success) of Voltage, Art-A-Whirl and other artistic events in Minnesota will pave the way for more showings of art and fashion. Hopefully they can learn from Voltage to set up symbiotic relationships with the community, instead of consumeristic nonsense like the Uptown Art Fair.

Congrats to Anna Lee, her team and all the designers and artists who made Voltage a big success in 2007. Click over to http://www.voltagefashionamplified.com/ and check out the bands and designers, go to their websites, go to their myspace pages and add them as friends, go see their live shows or designer studios, buy their music if you like it, and most importantly, Spread The Word, and support local art like this. It’s something we are fortunate to have, and something people on the other two coasts take for granted.

World Famous Violinist Joshua Bell Plays for Handouts!

April 9, 2007 By Conrad Zero

This interesting investigative story was devised and reported by the Washington Post. World Renowned Violinist Joshua Bell dressed as a common street busker and played for spare change from the mostly oblivious D.C. subway rush hour crowd. The experiment was to see if people would be any more responsive to a professional player that your common street noisemaker.

He made $32 in about 43 minutes. That’s not bad… for a bum. But for a world-famous violin player, playing a violin that cost more than your house:

…an unusual treasure: an 18th-century violin that once belonged to the great Austrian-born virtuoso and composer Fritz Kreisler

Thirty-two bucks for admission of just over 1,000 people, that’s about 3.2 cents per person, for a guy who usually pulls in $100 per seat. Tough crowd.

That’s why I make it a point to tip street musicians and performers, even if they aren’t very good. Hey, at least they’re trying.

And it’s nice to know that if Joshua Bell fell on hard times, he’d do OK working the street corner. Although, he’d probably make more money if he came to Minneapolis. And he’s always welcome to join Jagged Spiral and play some clubs, at least then he’d get free drinks, too.

NIN YEAR ZERO!

April 5, 2007 By Conrad Zero

As if anyone needed further proof that Nine Inch Nails kicks every manifestation of Ass conceivable, you can go to this link, and listen to the new album Year Zero in it’s Entirety. For Free.

Click on “Listen to Year Zero” and enter your e-mail, Bam. Stream The Entire Album For Free.

This should tide you over until April 17th 2007 when the CD comes out, and the conspiracy should rise to new heights.

I’m told the CD Packaging hides a secret which only heat will reveal…

Movie Review: Die You Zombie Bastards!

April 4, 2007 By Conrad Zero

[easyazon_image align=”right” height=”160″ identifier=”B000JJSKXQ” locale=”US” src=”https://conradzero.com/wp-content/uploads/610AuofaorL.SL160.jpg” tag=”zero00b-20″ width=”112″][easyazon_link identifier=”B000JJSKXQ” locale=”US” tag=”zero00b-20″]Die You Zombie Bastards[/easyazon_link]! is…um… strange.

But I liked it.

But I’m strange, so that makes a strange sort of sense.

But you might not be strange, so you might not like it.

But you’re reading my blog, which makes it quite likely that you are strange, in which case, you might like it.

I can tell you that the movie is preposterous, and the hero is a serial killer / cannibal who wears a cape made of human flesh.

But that’s not really selling it, is it?

I can tell you that it contains naked hottie scientist cheerleaders with green breasts.

It’s a tough call. I guess I won’t recommend it to you, but I won’t NOT recommend it to you either (neither?).

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