I almost feel bad about the thousands of people who are falling for the iShackle, (sorry, I meant, iPod). I suspect a higher number of them are younger people who quickly click past the indecipherable End User License Agreement of their iFools (sorry, I meant iTunes) accounts. Some day, they will realize, as the person in the story did, that iTunes sells a SERVICE and not a PRODUCT. Their music is LEASED and not BOUGHT. It won’t be long before people realize they have been fisted, and the saying ‘Never trust anyone over 30’ becomes the anthem for disillusioned 20-somethings…
Print this blog post out and tape it to your refrigerator door. In ten years from now (probably less) check the news wire for this article:
‘Local man fined for listening to music’
Mr Local Guy was more than a little irate when his ten-year old iPod finally bit the dust, and he went to purchase another one from AppleSoft, only to discover that the company had phased the product line (along with the MP6 format) out of existence.
Not to be daunted, Mr Guy downloaded a conversion program from BitTorrent, and he was able to translate his MP6 files from iTunes into an unprotected ancient technology MP3 Format, still popular among the hacker L337 community. It did not take long for AppleSoft Security Enforcement to deduct a significant fine from his credit account, lock down his transportation and communication services, and change his food-delivery service to MLSR (Minimum-Life-Sustaining-Requirements).
‘But how am I supposed to listen to my music collection?’ ranted Mr Guy, ‘I paid over ten thousand American Euros for my MP6s! I own them! Theyre MINE!’
‘Not so’, says AppleSoft janitor, Bill Gates, ‘Had he read the EULA, he would know that the DRM really does not allow any user to translate the media to any other format, or play them on any unsupported devices.’
When asked how users were supposed to listen to their music collections without supported hardware, the answer came quickly.
‘Simple,’ Gates laughed, ‘they just go over to the new AppleSoft MP7 site and buy them again! The MP6 technology is so six weeks ago! He should be glad we let him access that old stuff for so long!’
Now, with the new-and-improved DRM2 looming on the horizon, With it’s built-in 6-month-limit feature, which automatically turns all music into Dashboard Confessional songs after 6-months unless customers keep their liscense payments up to date, people are more wary than ever about the new technology. (Of course members who purchase the DRM-Platinum-Plus-AppleSoft-Tunes Account have the limit extended to 9 months.).